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30 April, 2011

Drumroll please.....

Well Blogosphere, friends and family.... It's time.  It's time to make a really big announcement.  I'm not really ready, but I am tired of hiding it.

I am pregnant!  Ten weeks and five days pregnant to be exact.

While I'm not ready for the attention, the gushing, and the constant question of "how are you feeling"  I am ready to get the truth out there, have people to honestly discuss pregnancy with, and to share my story with.

I want to recap the last ten weeks of ups and downs, and boy have there been, and then going forward I'll update every week or every two weeks.

End of February/Beginning of March
(weeks 0-4)

 I finished the Disney Princess Half-Marathon coming off a sprained ankle.  After the trip I just couldn't shake the tired feeling. I thought for certain a few nights of 10-12 hours of sleep and I should feel normal, but I wasn't.  I thought it was just the spring time allergies coupled with end-of-the-school year exhaustion, so I ignored it.  From there we went into an intense week of Religious Education registration.  I sat all day collecting and processing forms, yet I was still so tired that even an afternoon coffee couldn't shake me.  And I was eating everything in site.  And not gaining weight. Allergies?  Magic Metabolism?

By Friday night of that week I looked back on my charts and realized I didn't have my regular monthly symptoms.  Hmmm.  What the heck! I'll take a pregnancy test.

It was positive.  But by positive I mean it was super faint. Faint to the point I thought I was seeing things.  I called Eric and he laughed, "okay, we'll see - maybe it's a false positive."  "Sweetie, there is no such thing as a false positive, but I don't know if I'm wishing the line pink".

The next morning. And the next morning.  And the next morning. I took test after test.  I believe I took 7 tests in the course of 4 days.  Can you say, "denial?"  Sure enough:

I called the doctor and went in for my first check up!  Everything looked great, but there was some debate as to when we got pregnant.  For those of you who use NFP, you know there is a small window and when that doesn't match with the doctor you raise a little flag and say, "I think I know better!"  Anyway, they thought I was 7 weeks, but I knew we were only four...

No, that isn't a baby belly already, that's my beer-and-ice-cream belly :)

To celebrate the news and to spare me having to lie for 5 hours during a huge St. Patrick's Day party. I made these cookies to tell our parents about the baby:

The first thing my dad asked was, "Why did you make pilgram cookies?"  At which I yelled, "Just read the shamrocks!"

Both sets of parents were over joyed!  It was so fun to share the news with them.  Eric and I put the cookies in my parents outside fridge and then offered to get drinks with our siblings through out the night to share the news with them privately inmist the large party!

Mid/End of March 
(weeks 5-7)

I went on the Middle School Retreat sooo wanting to tell everyone, so not ready to have the whole parish know.  I had to bite might tongue.  Take my pre-natals in secret.  And then it happend.  Every pregnant woman's worst nightmare:  I peed my pants.   In front of 30 middle school kids.  

The next week, I started spotting.  Uh oh.  I was in a panic.  Total panic.  I quickly packed myself up and drove over to my midwife's office.  Eric was knee-deep in a project at work, so my mom came with me.  I was so glad.  The news that I received that day was devastating.  At 7 weeks we did an ultrasound to see why I was spotting... and we couldn't find the baby on the ultrasound.  We saw the sac, and it was small, but we couldn't find the baby.  The midwife diagnosed me with a "blighted ovum" which is where the body developed, including a sac in the uterus just as if you were pregnant, but the egg doesn't actually develop into a baby.  She told me to prepare for a miscarriage.

The rest of the weekend was a blur.  We had tons of plans, but it was all I could to to make it to Rosemary's birthday party.  I slept. I cried. But by Sunday I had a little twinge of hope.  How could God have gotten me this far (I'll tell that story another day), yet take this away from me?  So I prayed with all my heart that the blood work that was due in on Monday would have different news.

And it did.  Monday the midwife called and said my hormones were in the extremely healthy and normal range.  She wanted me to come in at the end of the week for another ultrasound to see if we could find the baby.

That same morning Eric told our friends Natalie and AJ about what was going on, and Natalie told us that most offices won't even do an ultrasound until after 8 weeks because it's so hard to find the baby.  So, see, we were fine!  I was misdiagnosed!  Fingers crossed!

(weeks 8-10)

We went in for our follow up ultrasound Friday, April 8th.  The same day I was to leave for the Women's Retreat.  That morning Eric held my hand as the ultrasound tech searched for baby.  And within seconds we saw him/her.  The most beautiful little gummy bear floating inside of me!  And we watched it's heart flicker and watched the heart beating on the screen. 

I do believe Eric had one of these Rachel Moments.  Only teasing, but I think about it every time I watch the ultrasound video monitor. 

Going on the Women's Retreat after coming off such a roller coaster of a week was so exhausting.  And I was more tired than ever.  Any spare moment to sleep, I did.  I went to bed early and woke up late.  And I gnawed on baby Goldfish and mini Luna bars all weekend to fight off nausea.  At least we had a healthy baby, right!?!?!?

The weeks have progressed, albiet they seem a little slow, especially when you are anxious to get out of the "danger zone", aka the first trimester.  But I've been celebrating and taking notes of milestones...

Easter Sunday we shared the news with my grandparents and extended family by bringing our never-seen-before wedding album over to Easter dinner.  At the end of the album we taped a note that said DUE IN NOV with a copy of the sonogram.  I loved watching my grandmother's reaction as well as my aunts and cousins.  Their excitement was priceless!

Wednesday night didn't help my "i have a baby inside of me" anxiety.  Again, I started spotting, this time a little heavier. Immediately called the midwife and since the office was closing for the day they sent me to the ER at the hospital (my practice is attached to a hospital). And said to page them if things were bad.   After a three-hour stay and a series of poking a prodding, the baby looked very healthy.  Growing right on pace.  The heart beat looked great too, and we got to hear it for the first time.  So amazing.  I was discharged with bleeding either from the placenta attaching, or from stress on the placenta from all the cooking and baking I did for this, and long walks, and yoga.  They told me to take it easy, keep my feet up when I can, and not to lift, push or pull anything heavy.  Thank goodness I don't have another child!

Yesterday I had my follow up to that appointment and everything looked great.  It looks like the bleeding from the attaching or tear has stopped.  Once again I got to see my little ninja baby (that's what we call him/her after that crazy disappearing act around week 7), hear the heart beat and watch him/her do little flips inside of me.  Um, let's discuss: There is a tiny person INSIDE OF ME doing flips.  Aaahhh!

The doctor said my pooching out of my belly isn't my uterus/the baby just yet. He said the uterus is still tucked in, but he noted that my organs have really started to shift and my bowels (delicious) have started relaxing.  Basically, everything is making room for baby!

We are so excited and can't wait to share more (and less verbose) memories with you!

PS:  If you've read this far... please keep the news off Facebook for a few more weeks! I can't let the teens in the youth group know just yet :)

1 comment:

  1. Eeeep!

    I am so sorry that it hasn't been the starry eyed love fest of early pregnancy, but am MORE glad that the baby seems to be doing well.

    How very scary it all must have been!

    (My midwife practice was attached to a hospital, too, which made it easy when I went in labor to be checked at the midwives + just walked across the street. :))

    (ALSO: love the new 'pregnancy' label! Woo!)


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