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07 May, 2013

Mary Knows.

It has now been a little over a week since we lost our little Albert.  New York City was a wonderful distraction, but reality is beginning to set in.  I have a follow up appointment with my midwife.  We have the funeral Mass on Wednesday.  I have a baby shower for a friend on Wednesday and one for my sister in law on Saturday.

There are so so many emotions, thoughts and prayers running through my head.  I wish I could capture them all, but I often can't express the depth of my heartache.   It's amazing how much it hurts to lose our  blueberry sized child we had never met on the outside.  My prayer is for all the mothers who have ever had to bury a child of any age.

For all of us women (and men) who have ever lost a child or had to greatly suffer, this quotation from Adrienne von Speyr's Handmaid of the Lord has reminded me that we say YES to the Lord without hesitating over the future. And that is a beautiful thing.

Adrienne von Speyr's Handmaid of the Lord:
"The Mother already said Yes before she began to pray, and this first prayer was already founded on her Immaculate Conception, which has its origin in the eternity of God. And so she said Yes to the Lord's death as well, when she gave her consent to the conception of the Redeemer. And whoever says Yes to a child consents to that little being's whole future work and fruitfulness, which extends into the unforseeable. And, in the end, both assents are one insofar as they are a unified service. Within this service Mary leaves the whole formation to God. She leaves it to him to make use of her as He wills, in joy and suffering. She does not say Yes in the beginning to a joyous conception and Yes at the end to a fearful death. Her Yes is bound to nothing other than the will of God-not even to any particular situation of her own. It is an indifferent Yes that can be shaped by God into the highest joy as well as the deepest sorrow. She herself will not influence the will of God in anything. She only accepts."

Thank you to my dear friend, Erin, for sharing this with me.  It has united my prayers with Mother Mary in a special way.  I hope that these words help you, too.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so sorry Elizabeth. The sting of miscarriage is so overwhelmingly acute, enough to stop one's heart in time. Let me know if there's anything I can do. xoxo


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